Learning to shut up.

In therapy last night, I was told that I'm trying to play God in my life. It was hard to hear and I'm sure the more therapy I get, the more I'm going to hear things I don't like. I got to talk to Brandon for the first time last night. It was the first time I got comfortable enough to talk to him. We talked about playing poker on MySpace and he even added me as a friend on his page so that we could play. Tonight when I logged on, mainly hoping he'd be online so we could talk some more, a message pops up from "Brandon". I smile and tap Geoff on the shoulder and tell him Brandon sent me a message. I open the message to it saying "This is Brandon's mom". Great..

I responded (he showed to be offline) with "I guess technically I'm his step-mother, I don't think we've ever spoken". It's not what I wanted to say. I wanted to be able to talk to her. But, Brandon's not answering his texts and he's not online. I know I need to be patient, that he's almost 16 and in a few years she can't stop us from getting to know him. I don't like to wait and I'm used to stomping my feet (and sometimes that can get pretty impressive) and getting what I want. I'm leaving this with God and not trying to fix it. I'm not going to push anyone to do anything. Something I'm not too good at, but I've got to start somewhere. Brandon seems like something worth leaving to him. He can work miracles and make things happen that are so unlikely that we're all amazed.

I want to get to know him more than anything. But, I'll have to wait. God may be trying to teach me patience, but I'm finally listening. Shut up, Angie..