My psychology report on a journal article...fun stuff...just turned it in

The study I chose to base my review off of was titled Ties That Bind: A Qualitative Study of Happy Long-Term Marriages. The intent of this article is to explain the success of marriages that have lasted longer than 35 years. The article explains how throughout the past decades, the definition of “long-term” has changed considerably. It started small, at 10 years, and some now consider fifty years long term.


My reasoning for chosing this article is very personal. My mother and father are currently going through a divorce and I have been married four times. My children reside in what society has coined a “broken home” and try to survive in a world that was not created for them. With that in mind, the reason I chose this article is to learn more about what causes people to have enough faith in another person to spend their lives with each other. I have plenty of personal experience as to what does not work in relationships, so I hope to learn what causes success.

One of the results surprised me, but only for selfish reasons. The group used in the research only contained one couple out of fifteen that were not raised in a long-term relationship (had come from broken homes). All the other participants parents’ were married to each other in happy relationships. In a way, I feel cheated because I do not have that perspective. My experience is solely from the perspective of the broken home. My biological parents divorced when I was 7 and now my father and step-mother are divorcing after 23 years. The odds of my marriage being a long-term seem to be unlikely when viewed in this perspective. Only through determination and belief in myself can I achieve the unlikely.

Another result of the study was compatability between partners. Enjoyment of the partner’s personality and finding humor were two listed causes for prolonged happiness. Being your partner’s best friend was important to one couple in the study.

I believe the author of this study truly attempted to acquire results for a broad range of cultures as well as races, but lacked the means to perform such a task. All the participants in the group where white. The location of the study was in Maine. The limited subjects accessible can theoretically be compared to other regions of the country. We share the same basic culture and social standards are basically the same.

The study used open-ended questions in gathering information about the relationships. The questions ranged from “Why do you think that you have been married as long as you have?” to children and religion’s effect on the marriage. Most of the explinations for the marriage lasting so long were generally the same. Respect for one another, friendship, laughter were just a few of the answers given. The answers given by each partner tend to match. This part of the process made me smile.

The effects children have on the marriage cause a sinking feeling in my stomach. As a parent, I would love to undo the mistakes of my past and present my children to a world where their parents stay married and we could give them the life we always wanted. The article made me realize how much children learn from the behaviors of their parents, even on a basic level. Understanding the respect required to maintain a long-term relationship is key to making it happen. Adults from broken homes must diligently search for the knowledge not learned as needed to maintain healthy, long-term relationsips.

The study revealed examples of parents explaining how the children “cemented” their relationship. It showed how selfishness was not abundant in these relationships. Needs of others seemed to be put before each of the particpants. Another’s wants or desires seem to be as important as their own. In reflection to my own life, I notice how since changing my selfish behavior, my relationship with my husband has improved. Through me improving my own actions, it forces him to take responsibility for his selfish actions when they occur. This is one way this article confirms my belief that a mutual respect must occur for a relationship to make it to the “long-term” status, even based on the lightest definition of ten years.

I was dissapointed with the depth of the article. In finding the article, I anticipated learning more factual information that I did. A lot of the article can be guessed by anyone in a relationship. The length of the relationship just depends on the ability of the other person to continue to desire to spend time with you. We end relationships with others for the same reason: We’re tired of being around them. For the people made the basis of this article, they have found people who they never tire of. In a society of bigger and better, these people choose the same person they have chosen before.

The article supports the author’s desires to have specific factors that contribute to a successful relationship. Even if they seem to be common sense to me, this article explains the process and examines the basis of a healthy marriage. Two must be friends and generally like the other person for the connections to last. Compromise and communication are key.

Maybe as a society we can teach ourselves more about learning to accept each other and not look for perfection. Maybe we can understand relationships take work and see that result is worth the effort. I am finally in a place in my life where I want the happily ever after and am willing to give all I have to make it happen. Fortunately, I’m married to a man who wants the same thing. Maybe someone’ll ask me in 33 years to be a part of their study of couples married for more than 35 years. We’ll just have to wait and see.